You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hippo gnu deer
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
