I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
