When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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