He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
