at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
