I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
