saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
