i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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