And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
