I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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