dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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