did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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