I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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