I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
