Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
