I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
