So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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