So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
