That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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