**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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