He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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