the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
