I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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