it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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