It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize