pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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