So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
