So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
