when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
