I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
