Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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