my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize