I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
