Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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