Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
