YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
