$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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