Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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