It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
