You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
