I puked a lego.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
