yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize
