Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
