well you can't waste a boner
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
