Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
