six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
