i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
