love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
