Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
