STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
