Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
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