I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
