I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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