Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
They have beer where we have blood.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
